If God is inside us,
  then I hope he likes Nachos.
  Cause thats what he’s getting.

Wait a Minute, don’t bring anyone mother into this. She aint here. if it wuddunt for your mother, you wouldn’t be here. So remember, when you put down one mother, your puttin down mothers all over the world.

Word Up Mr. T!

I’m Sofa King Stewed Pit!

The song is in German and I don’t have a clue to what their singing (6 years of german down the drain), but the video is awesome! All done lying down on the floor.

Watch it here!

Llama Llama Llama Duck

Indeed I am!

October 16th marks the official start of my personal Cold and Flu season. I’m sick, the wife is sick, kids are sick, all of my co-workers are sick… Sick, sick, sick.

The Nyquil I took last night surprisingly left me tossing and turning, with weird cold hallucinations that only Nyquil can produce. I’m fucking exhausted, my nose is dripping, feeling feverish, and coughing.

Good times.

Unintentionally hilarious sermon given by sassy black preacher who blames lesbianism for his sons inability to get a date for the prom. Rev. Willie F. Wilson of Union Temple Baptist Church is well known for being a polarizing figure. However, it appears that rampant lesbianism has not impaired Hamani Wilson’s dating life.

Listen Here

Stolen from MeFi

He says the problem with teachers is, “What’s a kid going to learn
from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?”
He reminds the other dinner guests that it’s true what they say about
teachers:
Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.

I decide to bite my tongue instead of his
and resist the temptation to remind the dinner guests
that it’s also true what they say about lawyers.

Because we’re eating, after all, and this is polite company.

“I mean, you¹re a teacher, Taylor,” he says.
“Be honest. What do you make?”

And I wish he hadn’t done that
(asked me to be honest)
because, you see, I have a policy
about honesty and ass-kicking:
if you ask for it, I have to let you have it.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional medal of honor
and an A- feel like a slap in the face.
How dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence. No, you may not work in groups.
No, you may not ask a question.
Why won’t I let you get a drink of water?
Because you’re not thirsty, you’re bored, that’s why.

I make parents tremble in fear when I call home:
I hope I haven’t called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about something Billy said today.
Billy said, “Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don’t you?”
And it was the noblest act of courage I have ever seen.

I make parents see their children for who they are
and what they can be.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids wonder,
I make them question.
I make them criticize.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them write.
I make them read, read, read.
I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely
beautiful
over and over and over again until they will never misspell
either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math.
And hide it on their final drafts in English.
I make them understand that if you got this (brains)
then you follow this (heart) and if someone ever tries to judge you
by what you make, you give them this (the finger).

Let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true:
I make a goddamn difference! What about you?

Stolen from Potsie - Thanks

So Hurricane Katrina was a “Soldier of Allah” sent to kill a thousand Americans and wreak havoc upon the Great Satan. Uh, huh. So just out of curiosity Muhammad, what does your type of thinking make of the earthquake that killed 20,000 people in predominantly Muslim countries? Hmmmmmmm? Anyone? Bueller?

Asshat!

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